It's something no one expected. Even the people around me that know how much I love MMOs are baffled, uphauled, mystified... [insert other silly word here] and it all came down to one of my friends getting me the World of Warcraft Battlechest for Christmans and yes, I did roll my eyes when I found out but a gift is a gift so I have to play it.
The pretty WoW box came with all the expansions except for Mists of Panderia which is a shame because all I wanted to do was play a Monk healer that punches things. Oh wait, Blizzard has a 10-day free trail of MoP that can be activated at the push of a button... Damn, it's almost as if they thought of this exact scenario. And with all that said, Warchao the Panderan Mistweaver Monk was born... Alright, well he started as just a Monk... but then I inserted the Mistweaver in there... Bite me...
So my adventures started me off in Panda land. I already forgot the name, don't judge me.[EDIT: Pandora!!! Thank you, Keywords!]. Right off the bat, I was immediately impressed by the lack of 1p resolution tree textures... Yes, I've been to Blood Elf land... I swear the trees were just one big, green pixel... Do I come off as salty? Yea... I probably do, but I digress.
After around 15 minutes of doing chain quests, killing monsters, and doing things that would make this write-up super boring, I came across a fire elemental with the cutest little voice I ever did hear (queue Bastion narrator)... and yes, that was the highlight of my adventure and all I kind of remember. Then there was something about a temple and a statue and an old panda person and a blimp and some totems.... RIGHT! TOTEMS!!! Don't even get me started on how long it took me and my weak mind to figure out how to jump on the bamboo sticks on one of the questing areas. I spent at least thirty-minutes trying to literally jump on top of them when all I had to do was remember how uncomplex World of Warcraft actually is. Turns out all you had to do was click a little arrow that made your character jump on top of the Bamboo for you. Aye! The life of an action gamer! An addiction to the jump button is a common reality.
So i'm going to skip ahead. There's nothing relevent between now and finding out my home is giant turtle. So because this has come to my attention... "World of Warcraft -- 11/10 would recommend. Turtle home too strong!"
And it was that moment in time, I would do everything in my power to ensure this Turtle was safe from all of the harm the world(of warcraft) has to offer. Then I find out there was a thorn in its side. Dam thorn! I shall relinquish the great turtle from his pain and remove the... giant airship that crashed into his side. Ok, seriously a giant airship? I mean, I guess if I was flying over and saw a giant turtle in the ocean, I'd get distracted and crash into it.
So now, removing it becme a quest but I love Mr. Shell man so it was more like a life goal. So we had to grab fireworks and bombs to blow it off Sir Tortoises' side. But when we did that, there was a huge gash. It's a good thing we have healing magic!!! Yea... Then there was a big battle and we won because it's WoW and we all lived happily ever after with Senor Reptile.
Alright! That was as far as I actually got so that's as far as i'm going to write. But really, the story was interesting... Really did make me feel like a wise Panda who has come of age and knows kung fu. So yea... Damn bamboo sticks...